Queen of Heaven

 of course

I remember you carving my body of soul 

With patience while I was unaware

To you, I extended my arms in disbelief 

and what I found was 

What I believed long ago was nothing but

An echo of your presence in the chamber of my thoughts

Some fragments, small enough for the limited

To observe the embodiment of what's infinite

atom by atom

 Imagine the hydrogen atom which has lost its electron

Seeing another one who is also holding charge

They repel each other in response

the atom thinks  of themselves when they are alone

And their awareness sinks into the pair when they see another one

As the other one leaves away they stop 

And think of what happens to the attention they give to another one

Is it a void or a synergy they felt like?

did they resonate and go high?

Or did they take anything that did not belong

From their pair, did it leave a mark?

All I see is one gets faded away 

Into solitude for another time

To collect their awareness of themselves

And God knows where all this flow is heading to?

drink thou

 it's taken from different corners

right and left, far and closed by

the ones that you can hear their voices 

and the ones who are doing pantomime 

it's a combination of all pieces,

a small piece of each one of course 

But still some, will be taken more

and some will not be fortunate enough

to be a part, 

it itches the corner of my eye

some are standing in line

and some are coupled up

some are walking with their younger ones

some are in charge

and taking responsibility for serving everyone

although they can't do all

some are outliers but they blend

in their order, what they do stand by

the quiter they are the more familiar they seem

a short smile makes them be still valid

the music in the background is also telling

the story of a bass player who is

tired of playing the same note 

for the song to live

string

I asked the painter, do you see your people as different brushes?

He smiled and said that is a curious idea but, I think you are overthinking it

The idea moves us as the music does

A dance, a surrender of will to embrace not knowing

seeing the smartest men we have seen doing the same

perplexed by the vastness of it and looking for a moment to have a glimpse

of the light that shines for eternity

A proof of immortality of mind

to see the brightness under the closed eyes

Emergence

I have always believed in an underlying pattern governing the universe. It is not only about how the laws of gravity and geometry can tell us where the planets will be. It is deeper and goes into the details and the words that come to our mouths, the sequence of events, chapters of life, etc. It is always at service. Does it contradict free will you may ask?

Yes and no. What I understand is it is a foundation on which a series of outcomes have the option to happen or not. To what extent we disrupt it is to us. It has an organic behaviour and it grows and evolves as we do.

The order.

I love silence. Silence allows for that order to emerge. We want to have certain things but the outcome of it is our pull for getting what we want disrupts the balance of this fabric.

A fool is the one who is played by the fabric without really knowing it. 

The fool plays an important role and acts in mysterious ways that a thinker needs years to figure themselves out. But the problem with the fool is, that its internal value is not guaranteed and its actions are hit or miss without any universal plan. The fool wants certain things and pushes away the unwanted and the more it goes for those things the more it is pulled into being played. The fabric needs individuals to act for it to be able to react. 

It is an invisible storyline that the fool, at the expense of gaining certain comfort or values, takes a step into and it encounters other beings. Wise men, magicians, healers, people who are there to have fun.

And it gets punished and rewarded for the ones with higher stakes. He only imagines what is governing those above. Are they looking at a magic mirror or a scrying crystal ball to know what to do?

As a fool, I know one thing and that is, silence is the best cure for the lack of wisdom.

I hope the ones whom I wish them silence don't think I want their suffocation. I am only hoping for a pattern to emerge. A subtle whisper as the old man said.

The rise of patriarchy

Power is internal and it is not possible to be taken from anyone else. One can be subjected to give their power or delegate it but to disempower them, it is needed to either use a system to oppress them or make them understand their disempowerment.

People have different goals for achieving powerful positions:

1- To reduce their suffering by pushing it into ignorance: Temporary transference of suffering through power

2- To satisfy their need for attention: Fulfilling attention depravity through power

3- To impose a metal system on top of a group: Control through power

4- To satisfy the thirst for power: Need for power for self-adequacy

5- To play a game: As entertainment to be played like gambling

Morality asks for thinking about others while being.

Being in favor of morality requires precise actions in controversial moments. Morality may endanger the position of power while it is not a measurable quantity.

Power can be achieved while alone and it is better to feel empowered enough in solitude as far as it is needed to feel balanced. Power shows itself in a more general form in group settings. In group settings where it is allowed to express the self in any way, it has been seen that more or less people may express themselves in ways that they are less aware of themselves. The result is they do not feel how they impose certain things on others while they would not accept to be subjected to the same treatment.

lead

 The step of digital and well-defined art.

Then I played a video game. I felt the tension in my legs and body as I was trying to dodge the bullets. It made me more aware of my body. 

Then I tried to relax but I felt myself stiffing my neck, pushing my body the the side as if the character of the game would be moved by my actions or the virtual environment in which the character lives is directly affecting my body.

Looking at videos that digested what I needed to study myself and presented in the format that I like: Visual representation of data.

There was a video of an interview with Vangelis. It began with a solid minute of talking about the feelings with people. He decomposed the type of anxiety he was feeling so beautifully and then the video moved to him playing the piano. The heavy touch of his heavy hands on the keys of the piano ever so delicately.

Another video shows his work with a singer of sorts. He was behind the piano and the singer was singing. A song they wrote recently and it contained what I imagined comes with multi-layers of meaning. 

The other part of the documentary had the view of epic movies that were scored by him. A scene with a Roman soldier saying a few words to Zeus and running forward with an army behind. It made me think about these stories deeply. The element of gods made these stories transcend up to the day of now. A jewel that can still be worn and trigger the imagination. 

lead

what is the responsibility of a reader?

why do we jump too far?

What does it take to take the position of leading?

Nothing basically. It is an animalistic feature of living in tribes to be socially structured beings.

It comes with dominance assertion and less logic is involved than what is thought.

It is mostly superficial and the more in-depth the conversations go, the less it matters to the property of leadership. Philosophy is the ultimate pullback from leadership, which is embracing one's own self as an individual and figuring out a distinct explanation of what the experience of life is about.

It is the difference between the director and the movie critic we are talking about. 

Both very well know what a good movie is. But the director is less likely to make a perfect movie and the critic is less likely to make a movie but he may understand better than the director what the movie is about. {do they?}

You can direct a movie by taking a camera in your hand and shooting anything but would it be a good movie? 

That is the conundrum with leadership.

Living within the structure of society, language, and interpersonal relations, it is not the wisest idea to take the position of leadership unless the cost of what is imposed on others is compensated with the overall benefits. A leader changes the way others experience their life. The frame in which the mental model of the leader wants people to be shapes who they are when they are observed through the lens of the leader. 

Therefore, theoretically, for a leader, it matters that they have resolved a lot of their issues before stepping into the position. Otherwise, regardless of the overall goal of the group, the first operation is going to be to resolve the problems of the leader. This is especially costly when the person is not mature enough to understand the implications of control. A part of leadership is letting go, for the natural structure to form by itself, and then getting involved again. 

A painter needs to step back from the canvas for the paint to dry and for the eyes to witness the painting from a distance. A different perspective gives a type of information that is hardly collectible from another perspective.