deprecation

Another day of rain came to the local Starbucks coffee shop to write about self-deprecation.

To be able to write about the self, it is needed to be able to visualize it so it becomes an imaginable 

object that can be looked at from different angles. Self, alone is the story write of daily life. 

It is paradoxical that the eye of the mind can look through the self to the world to act in a certain way by making decisions and also it is able to look into the self to find out about the self. The lens that looks outward can hardly study itself. That is why it is more sensible to understand the self by looking outwards and seeing different pieces of it reflected in the outside world.

In a daily scene of life, the mind looks outwards looking for things to do. Things that resemble a need that can be satisfied through the outer world objects. Now the question is what would a healthy mind look for? is the goal of the mind to survive? to grow? to experience hardship? or to kill itself?

Maybe a nihilistic point of view would say all these are equally valuable and their value is none. That point of view results in this derivation of results but will not get anything done. It is an untruthful way of thinking if the person is spending time in this form of living and using the outer world to satisfy their need to be. One can say the need for survival is coming out of desperation and the resulting pain but that does not mean it is valueless. The point of desperation is an alarming point that the thinking mind and body are asking for some answer because the need was not answered for such a long time. 

A reasonable way of looking at the outer world is by finding a balance to stay away from extreme actions. A healthy self is trying to find its way of being by sculpting itself based on the understanding of needs and the spectrum of feelings. The extremes are marker points and after checking the boundaries of extremities, the best way for the self to survive is to deprecate itself and operate in a healthy zone.

Easy to say but the self is such a complex object and there are many dimensions to explore. In each interaction and therefore reflection, there are multiple directions and actions that can be taken. This makes the process of finding the balance harder. Finding different variables and balancing them may at first look like an easy task to do and finding the first few may look like finding the absolute answer. Especially when the findings are through a refined source like a distilled book. Sooner or later, the teacher of life finds the self drifting, one more time, to explore another dimension of being and hit the extreme of it.

Life becomes easier when one finds the hardships of life are a natural process of growth and by paying enough attention to them, the recurrent dysfunctional loops of self-deprecation can be resolved and healthier ones can be replaced. Healthy ones take away the unusable habits and ways of thinking and make room for new pieces of the self to grow. New pieces which will need more polishing later but their overall efficiency is better than the ways of the desperate self.