Hi
A part of my ongoing path of self-actualization is getting closer to understanding the people I did not like in my life. Before, I thought I do not like them because they are not people to be liked. They are bad and their behavior is not right. There are many other things they can do but they are too selfish and distracted to do the right things.
These were the words that my mind was telling to myself, watching and judging. Watching and judging somebody else's act while I did not even have an act to present. Being a movie critic is not that difficult. You just have to pay attention and think. The toxic part of it is because you may understand a certain thing, you think you are better than the actor. Finding a 1% flaw in a 99% correct act is not that difficult. But doing the 99% is something not many can go through and it takes years for a character to do what it is doing consistently.
Now I am understanding the reason I did not like certain characters was because I was comparing them with the ideal in my mind and my ideal was too perfect for them. I think it comes from a lack of empathy and understanding. Now that I am going through life I see them as mentors and I try to not repeat their mistakes. Slowly understanding my imperfections of myself is helping me to empathize with darker and darker people.
Because the reality is whatever is in our life is a part of a greater than description system which is working. What we see wrong in parts of it are pointing to a need for optimization but it also means the architects of the reality we are living in, are great minds who did as much as they could for us to have a way of figuring the life out. Now if we are able, we can redesign the reality into a better place for living. It is and always has been a reflection of our inner self and the more we purify it, in every interaction with people we transfer our way of thinking to the minds and if they are worth living in the culture, they will continue living and if they are not good enough, natural selection of memes takes over them.
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