What do others have to say

 I walked into a grocery store last week to get a coffee. Google Maps led me to a coffee shop inside this grocery store and I was hazy when I walked in. Suddenly I noticed in the food prepared food section there are options for lunch. I looked at a big sandwich and thought this could be my lunch but honestly, it was way bigger than what I would eat. So I looked around and saw they also sell half of that sandwich also. I grabbed it and walked to the coffee shop and got my coffee and walked out. I was half a kilometre away on my way to the highway when I realized I didn’t go through the cashier at all. I just paid for the coffee and went out and it was too late to know what to do. So I felt like it was an honest mistake and waited for it to unfold. In my mind I would see a homeless person who has a spare change sign and I could change how his stomach is feeling by a gift from a multi millionaires who runs the grocery store. 

That was the day my car broke and I went out to food therapy myself at lunch and didn’t end up eating the sandwich. At the oil place when they almost refilled my oil for no charge I thought to myself maybe the sandwich was a gift for them but the guy who did it for me said he has had lunch and his wife also cooked shepherds pie for dinner. 

On my way home the exit which was usually leading to an intersection with a homeless man standing there was closed by the cops and I had to take a long way through the next exit.

On my mind I thought about Jean valjean and how he stole a load of bread and went to prison for twenty years, and how I was letting these evens unfold to find myself in what is supposed to happen.

The same week I was talking to an elder coworker and he was talking about how greed is a part of humanity and if you let people go to grocery stores and pick up food for free, they will hoard and waste and I have seen this in reality. 

In Iran at the days of religious holidays people would make food and give free food to the others and I also participated when I was at the university seeing how many would come to get more and more and even TV would show how people would fill their refrigerators with food. 

I judged myself and I ate half of that sandwich for dinner with no sense of guilt as I did all I could do and half of it for the next day at lunch. I was the one seeking for a spare of change