look back

 Today I was by myself and almost everything was done, which rarely happens.

That allowed me to sleep till 11 and have a lot of time to think about things.

I looked back at the past 7 years and the different people I dealt with; none are currently existing in my world. Mostly roommates.

There have been people who seemed nice and inviting at first, and helped me to open up a bit and allowed me in their space a bit. They also left too quickly and were absent a lot of times.

There have been people who were absent at the beginning, and came late and offered me some of their space, but they were seeking something inside of me which I did not have to offer.

There have been people who were open to communicating, but they had more things to work on, and they did not have much time

There have been people who were eager to explore, but their world was too far from mine.

There have been people who would take me inside and spend time, but there was no chemistry involved at the moment between us. Only the surface of the ice was too slippery for someone with no trust.

There have been people whom I admired for their will and what they had, and we chatted a couple of times.

There have been people whom I was doubtful of, and their stories made me stay doubtful about. They surely have gotten their way in their lives. But not my cup of tea par se.

There have been people with whom our disagreement remained in our minds, and there would be no way to reconcile the differences between us.

There have been people whom we resonated with at a higher plane than what we could imagine, as if it was meant for us to do something special.

There have been people whom I could see parts of what I fear in their fears and parts of what I do in what they do. Fighting the same demons more or less.

There have been people who have shown themselves to be willing to do what I want, even though it would cost them, and I showed my service to them, something for them to talk about.

There have been people who felt the bitterness between us, but we kept our distance and made peace as far as we could.

There have been people who dealt in commodities; they didn't buy what I had to offer, but I bought what they had. They disrupted my peace, and they got to look up.

There have been people who never got so close unless very short moment of desperate need.

There have been people who showed their aggressive attitude to me, and what they got was a rise in my voice, while they saw authorities taking care of what they had done

There have been people who disrupted my peace by taking too much space. I gave them my absence and my bitter look.

There have been people who tried to take control of me. I showed them I can be as slippery as a fish, only to prove to them they cannot get a hold of me. They would be in control only if I saw them as worthy of it.

There have been people to who I showed my friendship, and they soon realized they needed to ghost me. As my truthfulness is harmful to the shadow they were carrying