You body keeps the score

 Hi

I have been struggling with myself to wake up early in the morning and be motivated. Ottawa has hard winter and that makes it impossible to get out of the bed and not want to get back under warm blankets immediately. But the summertime is here and it does not rip your skin off if you go outside in the morning. Having something to do in the morning, like writing this blog helps a lot with staying motivated.

The reality is I know how a day that starts with proper exercise and a good shower can be a great day. I will have a sense of happiness from the first hour of the morning. Looks like adulthood is just keeping it up and playing with others. Whoever is in a certain mood will be given certain cards and whoever has it together, will be given higher cards. Our subconscious plays a huge game of comparison inside itself without even letting us know. The choices we make, make it compare itself with the others and if it calculates a better stance, the chances are higher to play with more confidence. 

I used to do a lot of sacrifices for others, keeping them happy by not really wanting more than is necessary. And I thought it is good to not want anything for myself. The reality is whoever has this mindset becomes mentally weaker than someone else who is doing what they want. I do not see any kind of power in self-sacrifice. What I see is letting go of it and leaving it for someone else. Maybe to keep the waters calm, maybe because of priorities, maybe a wrong mindset and wrong expectations.

The reality is the game of selves playing with each other. There is time to work on the stats of the character you play and it changes over time. To learn, there is a need to dive into the darkness, and to keep yourself happy and powerful there is a need to have pleasure. The point of equilibrium can be destabilized if you are not careful with the steps and your energy is limited. Exerting more power leads to having less energy to move forward. Strategy is one of the main keys and there needs to be time, out of the game to think about it. And thinking without playing does not mean anything.

It is not really up to you what reality brings to you. The human mind can only think so far and the nature of reality is non-linear and chaotic. What the mind can work on is making the right choices and being present in the moment. Every moment is a reflection of all the moments in time in a self-replicating fractal form. So having distractions when you are eating, affects your job and what you do during the week with your job affects your weekend with your friends. Everything is interconnected.