Tension

 Hi,

I think I finally have a good excuse for sitting in the Starbucks and working with my laptop. I don't know, I feel like I have to have reason to do anything I do in my life and that makes me move slowly in some areas. I think it is worth it. Making slow moves but calibrated moves that make wiser steps is probably a good idea. One thing that amazes me about reality is there are not many choices I make during the day. Most of it is me, flowing through what comes towards me. My way of living is I shouldn't use power to get to what I want unless what flows towards me asks me to use power. I can feel it in the scene I am in. Most of the time it's calm and I am an observer. My mind is running and analyzing everything but I am quiet. And there are moments where reality shifts itself towards me and asks me for a reaction. I feel like it's like a martial arts fight. The more you have your discipline right, the better your moves are. I think in reality, in conversations, every word and sentence must be a thoughtful action and the funny thing is the only time I don't think, is when I am having the conversation. It's like all the thinking is for outside of the scene and feeling is what happens when you are in it. 

It's such an amazing thing that the whole reality bends downward toward the moment and everything disappears and there is only you and the other person. I mean I like it this way but sometimes there are other spectators of the show watching. That's fine too. 

You ask what is the show about. It's about showing the reactions, showing the chemistry. Everything, every thought merges into the forms of the human body and language and shows itself in the conversation.

If I have to choose one thing that I am afraid of, that is being incompetent in a conversation. To look bad for the eye of the creator. I feel the burden of existence on myself in this way. I feel like I must polish myself, polish my interface, to have the best reaction for the observer. You may call it overthinking but I call it thinking. In my mind, there must be a healthy dose of thinking all the time to move the little hammer of the sculpture of life, the Creator, to form me. Otherwise, I will stay what I am at the moment and I won't change. I think one of the points of the creation is morphing the dead soil into the best resemblance of the Creator.

I feel like the face of the creator is hidden under the little details of body language, the hidden meanings and layers of audible and written language, and the symbolism and beauty of graphical art.

For me, a rich conversation is a conversation that has a combination of some of these points.

For the parties to be filled with the meaning and beauty of the Creator, they have to have the capacity to reflect the properties of Him and that requires them to be able to tolerate the tension of the moment.

There is a long discussion about duality and unity and I won't get into it now but just for what we need here, if we look at our world, everything is made dual. You can see it in anything that is differentiable for the human mind. A tree is a tree because it is separated from the outer world. It can feel the outer world by becoming a separate entity and feel the change of what is outside of it on its skin. In wintertime, it can feel the cold and absence of sunlight and in springtime, it can feel the warmth and life. It can feel the wind by its leaves and it can feel the earth with its roots. 

A major quality that comes with the nature of duality is the tension that arises when an entity gets close to its opposite pole. You can try an easy tension by moving your hands close to the flame of a candle. What you feel there is light and warmth from a distance. When you move your finger closer, you can slowly feel the rise in the temperature. Maybe a pleasant feeling. Moving the finger closer and closer makes the feeling stronger and stronger. There comes a time that the feeling becomes hard to tolerate and you have to move your finger away. This is a good example of tension and how it makes rules on how it enforces our behavior in reality. 

The goal of the creation of a dual universe was to create moments of feeling.

My coffee is over.